Lost

“People should always keep their eyes fixed on Christ and not be distracted by the human actions of his representatives. The Lord somehow managed to establish his church without lawyers and to disseminate his gospel without spin. Unfortunately, so much seems to have changed." -- Rev. Michael Madden, M. Div.

Well, if there's any truth in this whole sordid affair, it's that.

And I guess that's what I hate the most. That somehow this place, this church, this faith that for so long has been one of the only untainted things in my life, is now caught up in lies and scandal and politics and deceit.

And why should I go back to that?

Why, when a man who I trusted, who gave me a job and came to Baltimore for my baccalaureate mass stole 1.4 million dollars from my neighbors and friends?

Why, when the Diocese of Bridgeport chooses to turn a blind eye to homosexual relationships and robbery, yet vilify the one person willing to stand up for what is right?

Why, when I can't be convinced that there isn't something more going on with Fr. Mike and Beth, that there isn't more to this story that gets more ludicrous by the day?

Why, when a good, loyal priest resigns because he doesn't have any support from a church he has dedicated his life to? When even he can't convince himself that there's any reason to stay?

Why, when I walk into church these days and feel nothing? When I feel like a huge hypocrite everytime I talk about faith and Christ? When I can't think of God without thinking of all this crap?

I know Fr. Mike is right --I shouldn't be distracted by human actions. I should keep my eyes fixed on Christ.

But right now, I have no idea where He is.