Ireland, (Grand)Mother Ireland

"When anyone asks me about the Irish character, I say look at the trees. Maimed, stark and misshapen, but ferociously tenacious." - Edna O'Brien

I can remember with remarkable clarity many of the St. Patrick's Day teas my grandmother used to host at her home in West Hartford, Conn.

I was just a little girl then, dressed in the same shamrock-patterned dress as my sister, my hair in perfect ringlets, patent leather shoes shined and buckled over white tights.

I remember my grandmother busily rushing around her house, putting out Irish Soda Bread on Beleek china plates and pouring tea with milk and sugar (because if you're really Irish, that's the only way to drink it). Probably humming some old Irish tune. Her family -- generations of nieces, aunts, cousins and sisters -- gathered around her.

When I think about being Irish, I think of my grandmother. For she so embraces her heritage and to me, she personifies the strong, Irish woman. One of thirteen children in the 1920s and 30s, she knew many of the hardships that we read about in history books: poverty, discrimination, suffrage. She was a woman with tremendous intellect and ambition at a time when only boys were allowed to go to college, get jobs and be independent. Girls were supposed to get married, have children and take care of their households.

But my grandmother loves literature and art, opera and film. She is a voracious reader. She has strong opinions about politics and religion. She is a woman of tremendous faith. She is smart and capable and beautiful.

And I owe much of my own character to what she has taught me: That girls are smart and beautiful and capable. That we should be confident and strong and independent. That believing in yourself is the ultimate power.

My grandmother always encourages me in whatever I am doing -- school, sports, music. My sister, brothers and I are her only grandchildren and she is never shy about bragging of our accomplishments. I'd like to think that she's proud of the fact that we're good people, with strong values and strong faith as much as she is that we're good athletes, musicians, and students.

And we're good people with strong faith and strong values because of her. Because of what she taught her sons -- my father and my uncles -- so that they could reinforce it in others. Because my family is a bunch of strong, hard-working, generous, compassionate people with strong ties to our faith and heritage. My grandmother made sure of that and in doing so, she has given me a gift that not everyone can boast. And for that, I am extremely grateful.

It has been a long time since my grandmother has hosted a St. Patrick's Day tea. Her age and declining health mean that she probably won't host another one. In a lot of ways, she's not the woman I remember jumping up and down with us on her neighbor's trampoline or taking us to feed the ducks at Fernridge Park. But in others, she's exactly the same woman: adventurous and fun-loving, strong and capable, Irish and proud.

And I'm proud. I'm proud of her. And I'm proud to be part of her family. And I can only hope that one day, I will be a strong, Irish woman of the same caliber as she is.

So Happy St. Patrick's Day, Grandma. I love you.