All Lies & Jest

So you didn't really think I was going to have a blog and not post about baseball, did you?

I'm not going to say anything new about Barry Bonds that most of you haven't heard before. But here's my opinion of him in a nutshell.

He's a liar.
And a cheater.

I have zero tolerance for people like him.

Not that he cares, but Barry is about to get a very big dose of "Double Trouble." "Double Trouble" is the phrase coined by my father to describe the trouble you're in after you lie about whatever you did to get yourself in trouble in the first place. For example, if you break your mother's favorite vase while playing catch in the living room, you're in trouble. If you break your mother's favorite vase while playing catch in the living room and then proceed to hide it in a paper bag in the attic, when your mother finds out, you're in "double trouble."

So when Barry Bonds took -- according to these new reports -- every designer steroid on God's green earth, he got himself in trouble. Steroids are illegal, and using performance-enhancing methods as a professional athlete is cheating. The act in and of itself, was bad enough. When, in the face of crippling report after crippling report and damning accusation after damning accusation, he refuses to admit to the truth (and he's not fooling anyone -- everyone knows it's the truth), he's getting himself in "double trouble."

When the truth finally comes out (and it always does), there won't be a rock Barry Bonds can hide under. What is with these athletes? McGuire, Palmeiro, Giambi. All they have to do is say, "Hey, I did this and it was wrong. I apologize and I won't do it again." I would have more respect for that action than for any athletic feat they have accomplished. Everyone makes mistakes. Not everyone has the courage to admit them and deal with the fallout.

In a perfect world, Barry Bonds would grow some balls (excuse my French), admit to his steroid use and face the consequences like a man. If Major League Baseball had any standards, they would call off the entire home run race and void whatever other accomplishments Bonds can boast, whether or not he ever admits to steroid use; whether or not claims like those made by these two San Francisco Chronicle writers are ever substantiated. Because men like Babe Ruth and Hank Aaron don't deserve to have their legacies replaced by a steroid-injecting liar.

Other random sports thoughts:

• HOW did UCONN lose to Syracuse in the 2nd round of the Big East Tournament??!! I mean, no disrespect to Syracuse, but come on. UCONN was the #1 team in the country for a reason. Ugh. If I have to watch Villanova win the Big East, I'm going to be sick. As a side note, I love Jim Boeheim and good for him for defending Gerry McNamara.
• I was so prepared to hate the World Baseball Classic, but I must confess, I'm kind of into it. I was yelling at the television the other night when the US was lost to Canada like it was the Yankees/Red Sox in Game 7 of the World Series. When did I become so jaded that I declined to get excited about my favorite sport being played for the pride of my country? Go USA!
• But seriously, how does Buck Martinez have Derek Jeter -- Mr. November, Mr. Clutch, Mr. Four World Series Rings, Mr. Competitive ... I could go on -- on the bench when the US is trailing late in the game? Martinez needs to stop managing this thing like it's an all-star game where everybody needs to get in the game and start managing like it's the playoffs.
• My sister was a cheerleader, so I can't rag on them too much. But that girl from Southern Illinois who fell off the top of a pyramid, broke vertebrae in her neck and then continued to cheer as they wheeled her off on a stretcher was ridiculous. You broke your neck! Stop cheering and lie still!
• 24 days until Opening Day!!